Do 'celebration' of life funerals deny the sadness of death?

Do funerals that celebrate life deny the sadness of death?

Civil Funerals have grown in popularity in Central Scotland in the last 5 years. They are still a relatively new idea and there are only a handful of qualified and accredited Funeral Celebrants in Scotland.

Civil Funerals are well received and offer genuine healing to families who want this kind of service but others argue that they over emphasise the 'celebration' of life to the detriment of the loss and mourning.

Last month, when the former Sex Pistols Manager and punk impresario Malcolm McLaren died he asked people at the funeral not to have a moment of quiet reflection but to have a moment of mayhem. The music was to be turned up load and in his own words he wanted to let it rip (nice play on RIP there Malcolm).

Recently I conducted a funeral where everyone was asked to sing the famous 'Jeelie Piece' song and when everyone left they were given a miniature bottle of whiskey to toast the memory of this young man who had sadly died.

It is right that we mourn and cry. Lives extinguished in an instant. Worlds changed for so many people. But, at that funeral what was a tragedy also turned into a celebration of life - the funeral only lasted 20 minutes and I can guarantee you more tears will be shed for days, weeks and years to come.

Can you see that something good could come out of this funeral? Life isn't fair but sometimes a gift comes out of the dust and a rainbow appears through the prism of a tear.

Even a Jeelie Piece can remind us that we are not alone, that love does not die and that it is ok to celebrate life and mourn death.